If you are adopting and you already have a birth child, there are lots of things you can do to help your birth child to understand what is happening and to help them to cope with the big feelings that they may have while adjusting to life as an older sibling. Here you will find links to Facebook support groups, relevant books for you and your children, and videos to watch to prepare yourself or to prepare your child for becoming a big brother or sister to a child through adoption.

How to prepare your child for a sibling joining the family by adoption

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Books to help your older child adjust

“Adopting a Little Brother or Sister” and “So You’ve Adopted a Brother or Sister” are both suitable for a previously-adopted child or a birth child, who is becoming a big brother or sister via adoption.

“Adopting a Little Brother or Sister” helps children to understand what to expect during the adoption process, explaining in a child-friendly way what a social worker will do and that the wait may be frustrating, but it will be worth it! “So You’ve Adopted a Brother or Sister” helps them to adjust to their new sibling joining the family by adoption, and includes discussion points to guide conversation if the older sibling is finding changes frustrating or overwhelming.

A Book for Parents

When Holly and Jon Marlow decided to adopt a child from foster care, they wondered how much having a birth child already would affect the adoption process, and how the process would affect their daughter. In “Adoption After a Biological Child,” Holly shares her personal experiences, delving into the approval and matching process, introductions, attachment issues, therapeutic life story work and navigating contact with her son’s birth family. Much of this book is also applicable to families where the existing children are adopted or step-children.

FAQs

Holly and her daughter Zoe reply to FAQs about what it’s like to adopt when you already have a child in the family. You may wish to share Zoe’s video with your children, or you may just find it reassuring to watch it yourself!

Facebook Support Groups

Join “Adoption or Fostering after a Biological Child” if you have both adopted and biological children! https://www.facebook.com/groups/adopt/

Foster Carers, Kinship Carers and Special Guardians with birth children are also welcome!

A more general adoption support group is “You’ve adopted. What now?”

Introductions

Holly participated in a webinar for Adoption UK, about managing introductions when you have a birth child. These tips are also applicable for families that have already adopted a child and are adopting another child.